Gus Zainal… a piece of love from far away

Dan cinta adalah nyawa 
engkau boleh mengatasnamakan apa saja
tetapi yang tumbuh di dada ini
adalah pohon cahayanya
tebanglah
jika engkau sanggup menanggung perihnya

(Zainal Arifin Thaha, Cinta Adalah Nyawa, 1996)

It’s been 8 years after your passing away, Gus. By the window on March 14, 2007, dusk lapsed to a black night, a mourning moment that we never ever thought of—about how brittle and prone to fracture a life was. It’s too short and fast. You gave a sign by abandoning a Magrib prayer as an imam and asked one of us to become imam at jamaah prayer. Meanwhile, in your home, which is such our home too, you hosted a special guest from God: an angel. You did not tell anything that you would leave us first, at the time when young people like us needed much more spirit you usually poured and aroused.

Yes, approximately not until 10 pm, God saved you. Then, we lost the chosen one: you, Gus.

A year our togetherness was shorter than a day. Life passed through, stories amassed, and lessons (learned) pricelessly spilled, touching mundane things into sacred layers, full with love, humanity and compassion. It’s the moment I came upon my heart, crossed my fingers with humanity closer and closer, found a virtue and value of being a human, and accordingly felt that all these things were a God gift to life. It’s completely learning a life itself.

I know that all I've been speaking about and have been writing down with sort of personal matters namely memories would not affect those who were apart from a life you had showed and sacrificed. But those who interacted with you even very short opportunity would admit how many virtuous deeds you led to life and there I learnt much what a “virtuous person” is! You were like a father for us; when we were hungry you eventually came with a sack of rice; when we were tired of a routine you got closer to blow spirit of struggle into our mouth —reflection and praying. You devoted yourself to accompany us among the “bloody processes”. We always woke up and worked harder, then!

At the 8^th years of your passing away, I have been staying in Konya for some period of time. I have nothing to do but supporting the lads who continue your legacy in KUTUB and paying tribute to what you awfully loved to do: reciting shalawat and visiting mausoleums of waliullah. And alhamdulilah today I am in Konya which means I have time to specially commemorate your devoted life by visiting Jalaluddin Rumi’s tomb and praying for both you and Mawlana Rumi. It’s a fortune for me to learn from the paths of those virtuous persons including you!

Finally, in the name of kindness we will continue what you had done in our rest of lifetime. The goodness of your heart would seed alongside the paths we, your pupils, have chosen.